what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
