I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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