he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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