She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
