They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
