I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
