You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wish my penis had a tongue
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
