she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
