Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
