I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Too much gin, very little bucket
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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