Your tits are I can't wait for
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
