Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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