You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
