Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
