Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
