If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
