Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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