So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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