Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You just made me feel so damn special
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
