shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize