Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
