It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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