I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
