Say something about gay babies.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
