when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
