Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize