It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
