I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
where are my eyebrows?
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