I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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