Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
