i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
