woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize