If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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