Cold hands, warm shart.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
