i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
