my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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