I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
