I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
