we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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