Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You ruined the universe
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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