I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
