I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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