How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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