his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
