So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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