She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
