they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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