found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize