But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
