My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
