I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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