It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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