I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
