I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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