I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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