I never want to see another naked old woman again.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
