i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
