From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He better not be in your backpack
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
