Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
