no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he shaved USA in his pubs
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
