At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
