i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
