So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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