Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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