I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
