Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have post one night stand depression
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