when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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