I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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