i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
