Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
