Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
