Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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